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If there's one thing that I hate more than socialism, it's evolution. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but our forefathers were not smelly apes that scrounged around for whatever food they could find or kill - they were strong men who hunted and gathered their food and could go weeks or months without bathing. Big difference.
Furthermore, everyone knows Jesus rode around on dinosaurs like a badass. Here's an actual picture of Jesus:
Everyone knows jesus loves to catch rides from herbivores.
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